Monday, October 31, 2011
A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing…
This is a cautionary tale…
The Fast and the Furious!
While I was perfecting my mountain climbing skills, the Breadman was also doing some climbing himself.
He was trying to climb his way into my heart very fast and very furiously.
A little too fast.
A little too furious.
So much so that instead of falling head over heels, I started seeing flags. And not the kinda of flags that indicates the start of a race. No this was the kinda of flag that screamed hit the brakes. A red flag!
But seriously what was wrong with me.
It was truly “love at first sight” with my sailor.
And never once with my sailor did it ever feel wrong or “off”.
So, why was I having these feelings with the Breadman?
It could happen again right?
But before I even started my mountain climbing excursions with the Breadman, he was on the fast track.
He would show up at my apartment with thoughtful “gifts”.
Things like “I noticed you were out of juice so I brought some with me.”
He would make me breakfast (in his undies I might add which was totally hot!).
I would come home and there would be flowers in my foyer.
Or get to work and there would be flowers waiting there for me.
And I know you are all thinking “Ahhhh!” “That’s so sweet!” “So romantic!”
And it was…
All so sweet!
All so wonderful!
All so romantic!
And it felt all “too good to be true”.
And it was too fast. This was happening at lightning speed.
After about 2 weeks the Breadman was professing his love for me.
But here is the thing…
Where it all felt wrong…
Where it all felt too pretty, too neat, too packaged, too wrapped up and too fast…
Even though it was love at first sight for me and my sailor. It was months and months before we said “I love you!” to each other.
I remember the 1st time my sailor let me know he loved me.
He didn’t tell me.
He circled it on a card and then pointed to me.
So this much I do know…I know that my sailor loved me so much that it was hard for him to say it. He didn’t just throw the words “I love you!” around. They were only used when he truly meant it.
But the Breadman…
The Breadman was waxing love within 2 weeks.
I think I tried to convince myself that it was going to happen again with the Breadman.
I tried to convince myself it was sincere. I wanted so desperately to be in love. In love the way I was with my sailor.
I allowed myself to “fall” for the Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing.
I pushed my fears aside. I fell for the disguise and then I got swept away.
Swept away by every “I love you!”
Swept away by every flower, every breakfast and every mountain climbing excursion.
So swept away that I couldn’t even tell that he was pulling the wool over my eyes.
And when the mask did finally get pulled off, I was in shock by what I saw.
There is a part of me that wants to end the post here. Leave you with another cliff hanger in the Tale of the Breadman.
But here’s the thing. The Breadman does NOT deserve anymore billing.
It will end here.
And so the story goes…
Remember this is a cautionary tale.
Beware of the Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing...
There were other things about the Breadman that should have given me a glimpse behind the disguise but I looked the other way…
You know that beautiful, thick brown hair that flips so perfectly to one side that I mentioned…
Yeah well that took him over an hour to achieve. I would be sitting, dressed, ready to go out and he would be in the bathroom blow drying his hair.
Now I know that Metro-Sexuals have hit the scene and I am a big fan of the guy that does proper maintenance.
BIG FAN (Really guys make sure you’re “maintaining”. I say a good trim from head to toe is always in order!).
But, no guy should take longer to get ready than you do.
So take caution: It shows that underneath it all there might be a little too much vanity and a little too much self absorption.
And also, I found out that the Breadman wasn’t divorced like he said he was. He was in the process of getting divorced.
It is very important to make sure that they are free and clear and have been for some time.
So take caution: Those that are still tangled up, well, they will get you caught in the web too. Divorce is messy and if it’s not yours you really shouldn’t be a part of it.
And after all the “I love you’s”…
When the Breadman and I were planning on moving in together, ironically is was around Halloween when his mask came off, I found out that I was not the only woman he was making these plans with.
The Breadman was truly a Wolf. He had another girlfriend. Maybe more than one. I do not know.
It amazes me how he pulled this off since we spent so much time together.
And it seemed to all correlate with when his divorce finally became final.
Because as soon as his divorce became final things started to change.
So take caution – When someone is so quick to say “I love you” it might be a sign that they don’t hold the same meaning to those words that you do.
And lastly, trust your instincts. My initial instincts were to hit the brakes. But I ignored all the red flags and sped ahead blindly.
It really is all too cliché and predictable.
I am sure there are many of you who have come across this Wolf.
They do share similar traits.
So, I will leave you with this cautionary tale and the warning signs.
Take heed and beware!