Saturday, April 7, 2012

Proud

I've always had this want.

This desire.

This need.

Deep within my soul I know that if I could ever bring this want, this desire, this need to fruition then I have done something amazing in this world.

I would know that I was a part of something bigger than myself.

I would maybe, just maybe feel proud of something I did and the rewards would be endless.

But not pride in an arrogant sort of manner but pride in its most humblest form.

I would be proud that I was able to embrace a life. Proud that I could open my heart and love in a manner close to God.

And the love.

This love in my heart.

It is love that is beyond measure.

A love so powerful that it fuels this want, this desire, this need within my soul.

And if I could share this love.

Give this love unconditionally, I would then know the pride.

A pride so strong.

A pride that only comes from the love you have for your child.

I have this love.

I have this desire, this want, this need to be a mother.

To look upon the face of my child and love unconditionally.

To look upon the face of my child and beam with pride.

I have taken many steps and missteps on my path to motherhood.

But this step...

This last step that I have taken brings me one day closer to my dream...

It is a giant step forward that I have now taken...

Because I know my child is finally on their way home to me.

It may take time but each day brings me closer to the day I meet my child.

And taking this step.

Moving forward towards that day...

That makes me proud.




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32 comments:

  1. Congratulations! I hope and pray that a birthmom realizes how wonderful you are quickly. I am glad that you are feeling like you are moving forward again. By the way, this is a beautiful post. I may borrow it to try to explain my desire to have a child to the friends who do not understand.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! I know this can take a year or two but I have decided I will use that time to make sure I am in the best possible place when my baby comes home. That includes some home projects.

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  2. So exciting! Congrats, Michaela for taking this HUGE step! You've waited so long, I hope your next wait is very short.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you!

      I hope it isn't a long as my TTC journey that's for sure!

      I have a plan for the wait that will hopefully make it move faster.

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  3. YES!!!! I had goosebumps by the time I got to the end of your post. So, so happy for you Michaela! This is such a huge moment in your journey. You put it best when you wrote today is one step closer to the day you meet your child. And I will definitely continue to follow along, with happy anticipation of the day you announce your little one is finally home with you.
    Congratulations!!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much!

      Your support really touches me!

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  4. The end of this post brought a HUGE smile to my face. Congratulations! I am so happy for you. :)

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  5. Congratulations!! The adoptive community is such a welcoming/kind/support group! Can't wait to hear more details as you move along in the process!! Domestic or international?

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    Replies
    1. Thank you!

      I am going to have to start reading some more blog in that community. Right now I only follow one.

      It is domestic. I considered both but I found a non-profit agency that just felt right.

      Delete
  6. Congratulations and I'm so excited and proud for your new adventure! Hang tight and it will all be worth it I the end!
    Jen

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  7. Awesome step forward. Congrats.

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  8. Whoo hoo! I am so happy for you!!

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  9. What a great post ending...and beginning! Congratulations! I am so excited for you and for what lies ahead.

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  10. I am so very proud of you my dear sister. You have strength that I have never seen before and admire very much. Not matter what your future brings, a boy or a girl, I will always be there for you and my new niece or nephew. I can not wait to be the fun Aunt who plays at the park, goes to the zoo gives lots of piggy back rides and to teach my favorite song
    I love you
    I love you
    A bushel and a peck
    A bushel and a peck
    And a hug around the neck

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  11. I've been following you - we have a ton in common! We just adopted from Foster Care last year & I feel so blessed to finally be a mom!!! You will make such an amazing mom!!! I cant wait to watch the progress!!!
    Jenny Correa

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  12. Congratulations! Looking forward to following your journey. We're nearing the one year mark since our home study was completed. Hoping that your wait will be short and sweet.

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  13. Michaela,
    Words cannot express how happy I am for you. I cried when I read this post. You are an amazing mom and I absolutely cannot wait for you and your child to be together at last. Big hugs and soooo sooo much love,

    Charity

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  14. Congrats Michela! When I was first starting out on this path, I was so hell bent on only the biological child route. Now, 2 years in, and having given serious thought, blood, sweat and my tears to to the thought of motherhood, I finally come to this conclusion- the child you will end up with is the child you were meant to have, and nothing is more beautiful than bringing 2 souls together (especially if they are not biologically related) and uniting them in the profound bond of parent and child.

    I only hope you meet your baby very soon.

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  15. What an ending! Congratulations!!! I'm so happy and excited for you. Your child will be so lucky.

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  16. This is such wonderful news! Yay!

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  17. Awwwwwwwwww Michaela!! I'm so happy for you! It's the best new I've heard in this week!

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  18. Michaela- I am so incredibly happy for you. Congratulations!! I have tears in my eyes from reading this. I've long thought that you'll be an amazing mommy and that there is a very special baby heading your way. May he or she find their way to you soon and safely. God bless.
    - Eileen (Irish from FT)

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  19. I am just so excited for you, Michaela! I am sitting here at my desk at work openly crying because I am so happy for you. What a huge momentous step & I love how you've written it. What a lucky a truly blessed child it will be to have you as their Mommy!

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  20. Congratulations!!! I don't know you but I have been reading your blogs,which is beautifully written and when I saw the last bit of your post, I had tears in my eyes!!! Keep us posted on this beautiful adventure!

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  21. Congratulations Michaela! I'm so happy for you and I hope that your wait for your little one will be short!! He or she will certainly be a very lucky and blessed child to have you as their mom! - Jen (Comet from FT)

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  22. I'm a lurker, but I had to come out to say congratulations. I am very happy for you. and as an adopted child, I just want to give you a huge hug.

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  23. I'm a lurker, but I had to come out to say congratulations. I am very happy for you. and as an adopted child, I just want to give you a huge hug.

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