This desire.
This need.
Deep within my soul I know that if I could ever bring this want, this desire, this need to fruition then I have done something amazing in this world.
I would know that I was a part of something bigger than myself.
I would maybe, just maybe feel proud of something I did and the rewards would be endless.
But not pride in an arrogant sort of manner but pride in its most humblest form.
I would be proud that I was able to embrace a life. Proud that I could open my heart and love in a manner close to God.
And the love.
This love in my heart.
It is love that is beyond measure.
A love so powerful that it fuels this want, this desire, this need within my soul.
And if I could share this love.
Give this love unconditionally, I would then know the pride.
A pride so strong.
A pride that only comes from the love you have for your child.
I have this love.
I have this desire, this want, this need to be a mother.
To look upon the face of my child and love unconditionally.
To look upon the face of my child and beam with pride.
I have taken many steps and missteps on my path to motherhood.
But this step...
This last step that I have taken brings me one day closer to my dream...
It is a giant step forward that I have now taken...
Because I know my child is finally on their way home to me.
It may take time but each day brings me closer to the day I meet my child.
And taking this step.
Moving forward towards that day...
That makes me proud.
Congratulations! I hope and pray that a birthmom realizes how wonderful you are quickly. I am glad that you are feeling like you are moving forward again. By the way, this is a beautiful post. I may borrow it to try to explain my desire to have a child to the friends who do not understand.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! I know this can take a year or two but I have decided I will use that time to make sure I am in the best possible place when my baby comes home. That includes some home projects.
DeleteSo exciting! Congrats, Michaela for taking this HUGE step! You've waited so long, I hope your next wait is very short.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteI hope it isn't a long as my TTC journey that's for sure!
I have a plan for the wait that will hopefully make it move faster.
YES!!!! I had goosebumps by the time I got to the end of your post. So, so happy for you Michaela! This is such a huge moment in your journey. You put it best when you wrote today is one step closer to the day you meet your child. And I will definitely continue to follow along, with happy anticipation of the day you announce your little one is finally home with you.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!!
Thank you so much!
DeleteYour support really touches me!
The end of this post brought a HUGE smile to my face. Congratulations! I am so happy for you. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteCongratulations!! The adoptive community is such a welcoming/kind/support group! Can't wait to hear more details as you move along in the process!! Domestic or international?
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteI am going to have to start reading some more blog in that community. Right now I only follow one.
It is domestic. I considered both but I found a non-profit agency that just felt right.
Congratulations and I'm so excited and proud for your new adventure! Hang tight and it will all be worth it I the end!
ReplyDeleteJen
Thank you!
DeleteAwesome step forward. Congrats.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteWhoo hoo! I am so happy for you!!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteWhat a great post ending...and beginning! Congratulations! I am so excited for you and for what lies ahead.
ReplyDeleteI am so very proud of you my dear sister. You have strength that I have never seen before and admire very much. Not matter what your future brings, a boy or a girl, I will always be there for you and my new niece or nephew. I can not wait to be the fun Aunt who plays at the park, goes to the zoo gives lots of piggy back rides and to teach my favorite song
ReplyDeleteI love you
I love you
A bushel and a peck
A bushel and a peck
And a hug around the neck
I've been following you - we have a ton in common! We just adopted from Foster Care last year & I feel so blessed to finally be a mom!!! You will make such an amazing mom!!! I cant wait to watch the progress!!!
ReplyDeleteJenny Correa
Congratulations! Looking forward to following your journey. We're nearing the one year mark since our home study was completed. Hoping that your wait will be short and sweet.
ReplyDeleteMichaela,
ReplyDeleteWords cannot express how happy I am for you. I cried when I read this post. You are an amazing mom and I absolutely cannot wait for you and your child to be together at last. Big hugs and soooo sooo much love,
Charity
Congrats Michela! When I was first starting out on this path, I was so hell bent on only the biological child route. Now, 2 years in, and having given serious thought, blood, sweat and my tears to to the thought of motherhood, I finally come to this conclusion- the child you will end up with is the child you were meant to have, and nothing is more beautiful than bringing 2 souls together (especially if they are not biologically related) and uniting them in the profound bond of parent and child.
ReplyDeleteI only hope you meet your baby very soon.
What an ending! Congratulations!!! I'm so happy and excited for you. Your child will be so lucky.
ReplyDeleteThis is such wonderful news! Yay!
ReplyDeleteMichaela- I am so incredibly happy for you. Congratulations!! I have tears in my eyes from reading this. I've long thought that you'll be an amazing mommy and that there is a very special baby heading your way. May he or she find their way to you soon and safely. God bless.
ReplyDelete- Eileen (Irish from FT)
I am just so excited for you, Michaela! I am sitting here at my desk at work openly crying because I am so happy for you. What a huge momentous step & I love how you've written it. What a lucky a truly blessed child it will be to have you as their Mommy!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!!! I don't know you but I have been reading your blogs,which is beautifully written and when I saw the last bit of your post, I had tears in my eyes!!! Keep us posted on this beautiful adventure!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Michaela! I'm so happy for you and I hope that your wait for your little one will be short!! He or she will certainly be a very lucky and blessed child to have you as their mom! - Jen (Comet from FT)
ReplyDeleteI'm a lurker, but I had to come out to say congratulations. I am very happy for you. and as an adopted child, I just want to give you a huge hug.
ReplyDeleteI'm a lurker, but I had to come out to say congratulations. I am very happy for you. and as an adopted child, I just want to give you a huge hug.
ReplyDelete