Like all the memories you could never forget...the emotions of them take over and details fall through the cracks.
But the feeling, that rush of magic...that rush of a dream come true...the rush of a love...a love so strong I can only relate it to a realm beyond earth.
Okay that's just corny and stupid! I am trying to find the words to express something that really is un-expressible and to do it without sounding like a total wingnut...it is just impossible!
Let's try this again...that rush of a dream come true...the rush of a love...
I will go back through the day as I remember it and hope I can give you a sense of what it is like to meet your daughter for the first time!
I got the "call" on April 15th. I brought my daughter home on April 17th. What happened April 16th I have no clue!! I know Sissy M came over and there was a trip to Babies R Us where we tried to get things we needed and I did something I never thought I would do...I registered! So that day was about getting diapers, bottles, crib sheets, changing pads and anything else we could think of...
April 17th 2014, I had to get to the adoption agency by noon, the foster mom was bringing my daughter to the agency at 1. We had 1 hour's worth of paperwork to fill out.
I knew in my soul that I needed to get the ladybug bracelets for the birth mom and grandma. That was so important to me to make sure they had them.
The store that I needed go to that had the bracelets opened at 10am. It was 20 minutes from my house.
So, the agency at noon which was over an hour away. My BFF M2 was driving me and she was meeting me at my place at 10:45am.
Get to the store, buy the bracelets, get back by 10:45am because one thing you should know...M2 is ALWAYS ON TIME!!
BFF V is going to drive me to the store to get the bracelets. We don't have one minute to spare and I swear she is driving at the speed of at turtle!!
I get to the store minutes after it has opened and can you f'ing believe it...A LINE!! Apparently at 10am on Thursdays is the day everyone goes out to buy Alex and Ani bracelets! Who knew!
It was an excruciating 10 minutes before I could get my bracelets and then the snails crawl drive back...ughhh...of course BFF M2 is waiting for us.
We hop into her SUV and off we go. Now BFF M2 drives a lot faster so I was happy about that but before we even get into gear, BFF V from the backseat says to me "Don't move. Just don't move" and then says to BBF M2 "Do you have a tissue"
Me: "What! What! What is it??"
V: "Don't move!"
BFF M2 reaches into my hair, grabs something and throws it out her window and says: "I don't know what it was but it didn't start with the letter S"
She knows I am deathly afraid of spiders! And there was one (apparently a big one!) crawling in my hair.
Now we are finally off! And yes, BBF M2 was driving as fast as she could but every turn we took was met by slow drivers, 18 wheelers and dump trucks...it was un-fucking-believable.
And I am literally crawling out of my skin! Not only from the creepy crawler that was crawling in my hair but the anticipation, the stress of the drive, the fear of the unknown and the love that was filling my heart for my little girl...
Would she like me? Will she be scared? Will she cry? Will I be able to comfort her? (I still have these fears!)
We finally pull up to the agency. It's 12:30! My mom is already there and we are taken into a back conference room to go over all the paper work! My friends wait outside.
Let me tell you something folks...you have no idea what is a lot of paper work until you go through adoption...
Every piece of paper that needed to be signed was stacked in front of me and it felt like the stack NEVER went down!
I'm looking at the clock and then back at the stack, then at my mom, then at the social workers who are painfully going over every detail of every piece of paper...literally reading every word! Then back at the clock, my mom, the social workers, the papers...
1 o'clock has come and gone. It's now 1:15...1:20...1:30 and I know my daughter is here waiting...
At one point my mom had to run out to go to the bathroom, her excitement and anticipation was so great! She didn't want to hold anything up so she is rushing back not realizing she has buttoned and zipped the bottom of her shirt into her jeans!
Finally I am done with all the paperwork and I am taken into that small, little room that houses that small, little rocking chair with the afghan thrown over its back. I wonder how many adoptive parents sat in this chair before me creating their family! And how many after...
Next to the rocking chair on a desk is mine and Ladybug's name spelled out in children's blocks with the date 4/17/14 and Congratulations! (I still have those blocks!)
FINALLY! FINALLY! FINALLY! Patricia the social worker brings my Ladybug in...and within moments Ladybug reaches her arms out to me. I pull her close and I knew in that moment that I would never let her go...forever!
And what's happened since that day...since April 17th 2014! Here's a little snapshot!