Out of all the requirements, I mean really, in actuality how hard is that. No biggie right...
So around this time last year when I was working on my homestudy, I went and got a physical.
But I have to admit it really wasn't much of a physical. My doctor, Dr. General (my general practitioner at the time) gave me a very quick once over, didn't do any of the required blood work, scribbled on my form and handed it back to me. And in between scribbling on my form he was making comments and questioning me on my age, my income and asking me how expensive it is to adopt...Really???
I should have asked him how much his Mercedes cost but I was taken back by his comments, like he was putting me under the microscope.
I was feeling very scrutinized, very exposed...naked...
And I was getting really annoyed. I mean really annoyed. This was a doctor I have been going to since I was a teenager. This is the doctor that literally held my hand when he thought I had Leukemia, a doctor that knew about my miscarriages, the same doctor who when I went to him for clearance to do IVF a few years earlier of course said that old familiar phrase... "Why don't you just adopt?"
Now he was throwing out these little digs, these judgments and it was inappropriate and annoying. I was annoyed that he didn't take it seriously, that he was so callous about whether or not I should continue to pursue motherhood, that he didn't show enough respect to fill out my form, my adoption form, a form that is so important to me, a form that is my world, that he didn't take 10 minutes out of his lousy day before he sped off in his Mercedes to fill it out properly.
Luckily when I sent in his chicken scratch to my social worker she accepted it and subsequently after many other requirements were completed, I was homestudy approved.
But on that day, the day Dr. General decided to pass down judgment instead of doing his job, I was feeling very vulnerable...very exposed... it was all the questions and concerns that I have already asked myself a hundred times but hearing them from him...it left me naked...
The reality is that I knew I could never sit in front of Dr. General again without feeling naked...without feeling like he was looking at my most private parts and disapproving...
So, I switched doctors and now I go to his partner. Dr. Partner. I tell them in the office that I made a mistake on my insurance and claimed the wrong doctor as my primary and haven't bothered to change it.
But it's really because Dr. General saw me naked.
Or should I say forced my clothes off...
One would think with all of the personal information and private parts that I have exposed over the last 4 years of my life that I would be comfortable naked...
And in the physical sense I am.
I have no modesty when it comes to the RE, speculums and the downtown fun with Wanda.
Half the time I am taking off my pants before the nurse has even had a chance to leave the room.
The running joke is that I have to remember to keep my pants on when I go to the dentist.
So today, about one year later from my last physical since my adoption agency requires a new physical every year, I went in for another physical.
I made an appointment with Dr. Partner and when he comes into the room he starts going over my form one line at a time.
I had mentioned that Dr. General really didn't do any tests and Dr. Partner says to me: "If we are going to do this, we are going to do it right."
And he proceeded to do everything on the form. Taking care to fill out properly and even asking if this was my first adoption and congratulating me...I felt fully clothed...
Until Dr. Partner said that although it was not required on my form, he always performs an EKG for his physicals and would like me to have one.
Okay! No biggie right!
So, the nurse comes in with a paper gown but it wasn't the pink paper gown that I'm used to.
No, it was white and short?? It's like a vest.
And then she says something to me that I am still trying to process...she says....
"Please get undress from the waist up. And put the vest on with the opening in the front."
And walks out of the room.
From the waist up???
I know there was a look of confusion on my face...I think it's still there....
I went to get undress but my body automatically started undressing from the waist down!
I have NEVER undressed from the waist up!
I must have stood there staring at the white paper vest wondering what to do with it for a couple of minutes.
All I wanted to do was kick my shoes off, pull down my pants and take off my undies...
But I had to stop...I had to think...and then I did it...I took off my shirt...took off my bra and put on the white paper vest.
And all the sudden I was naked!
My boobs were out!
My cookie can be out all the live long day but my boobs!!
I was aware...very aware!!
I was NAKED!! From the waist up NAKED!!
Once it was all over I was glad to cover up and all I kept thinking of is if you really want to fuck with an Infertile....
Ask them to undress from the waist up and watch the expression on their face...
I am sure mine was priceless!!
**Okay in keeping with the rules of the Liebster Award here is my question to you: "When was a time you felt completely naked?" Please answer in the comments!