As far as I can recall...it was just another ordinary day.
It was 2 days before my birthday (my "you waited too long birthday").
It was a Friday.
The plan...take the day off, go to the doctor and then head down the shore for a little b'day R&R.
The doctor...I had my first appointment with a fertility doctor to discuss Artificial Insemination.
My thoughts... I thought it was going to be easy...simple...you know like in the movies...
I walk into the doctor's office, declare my plans to have a baby on my own, the doctor does some kind of wave of his magic wand and...
PRESTO!! PREGNANT!!
Honestly that's pretty much what I thought!
I knew there would be some sort of testing and some kind of procedure but other than that...PRESTO!!
Boy was this ordinary day about to teach me lessons I didn't want to learn.
August 28, 2009
On that day not myself nor the doctor knew how this was going to end...because the journey...that long and painful road I was about to travel... had only just to begin...without even knowing it, I had taken the first steps.
And the testing...well the testing had only just begun too!
I know they took massive amounts of blood that day and they introduced me to "Wanda" - why yes the seemingly harmless but somewhat invasive dildocam used to perform the ever so devastating vaginal ultrasound.
On that ordinary day in August Wanda started her reign of terror, revealing to me that I had a low AFC - antral follicle count - which basically means a low egg count...I didn't know on that ordinary day that it was an "out of" egg count...just low...
None of this seemed to spell DOOM until Dr. Doom declared I had a practically 0% chance of getting pregnant.
Turning all my days from ordinary to barely livable.
This one seemingly ordinary day was the start of what seemed to be endless...
Endless testing...
Endless cycles - 20 to be exact...
Endless pills....
Endless needles...
Endless tears...
August 28, 2009
Just another ordinary day turned into the dreaded marker of time...
Marking the endless days...
The endless weeks...
The endless years...
I had no idea that this one...seemingly ordinary day...just another ordinary day...would permanently changed who I am and the trajectory of my life...forever...
August 28,2014
5 years later the endlessness ended...
I held my daughter...I played with her...fed her...bathed her and put her to bed...
It was just another ordinary day...sort of...
I relate to a lot of this story. So happy you have your happy ending! Would love to hear more stories about you and your daughter. What is your life like now? Is being a mom harder or easier than you imagined or both? :-)
ReplyDeleteI remember grieving over cycles with you. I definitely remember crying tears of joy when you wrote about Ladybug. I hope that I can be as good a mom if everything works out for me.
ReplyDelete5 years. What strength, grace & fortitude you have shown. It brings me endless amounts of joy that you are where you are now with your Ladybug.
ReplyDeleteYou are so inspirational and so strong. I am just so happy you have your dear Ladybug.
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