Sunday, May 29, 2011
We’re off to see the wizard...
The last time we were discussing my journey, I had decided to change paths…again!
I decided to follow the “yellow brick road” and follow my dreams of motherhood from conception to birth and onward…
I pray that someday I will be able to adopt too. I hold that dear to my heart but for now I’ve decided to head off to see the wizard and find a treatment for me…
Dr. Wow and Dr. Period
MY Dr. Wow… the RE who I felt would be the one to get me pregnant…the RE who renewed my hope after Dr. Doom and my miscarriage…well Dr. Wow turned into Dr. Douche. And it wasn’t because he told me I wasn’t pregnant. He told me that before. It was something he said just before we hung up. He quickly blamed the failed cycles on my age and my eggs (I expected that). He made some comment about this being my last try (since I paid for 3 cycles) and then said that I could do donor eggs. And none of that really bothered me. I was a little bothered that it felt like he was kicking me to the curb…like “Oh you bought three cycles and…Strike one…Strike two…Strike three…YOU’RE OUT!!” And I knew the donor egg speech was coming. It was what he said after he recommended donor eggs that really pissed me off…and I’m going to paraphrase here but he said something like “But donor eggs are expensive and since you’re single you might not want to spend the money. Let me know and I’ll be glad to discuss it with you” and click he hung up. And I immediately thought “Really douche bag! You’re going to tell me how to spend my money…Mr. Drives an Audi TT!” “My ass helped pay for your damn Audi and if I want to make another RE rich I will!! But I know one thing for sure…I will NOT be lining your coiffeurs anymore!!” And POOF just like that my prince turned into a toad…or more like a tool!!
So now I had to find a clinic that didn’t charge more than my future child’s college tuition to get me pregnant.
And that’s when I came across Dr. Period.
You see one of my other options is donor embryos. There aren’t many clinics that offer this but I found one that did. BUT (and there is always a “but”. I really think BUT and BUTT should be spelled the same!! b/c in actuality they mean the same...you're ass out of something!) BUT you have to be a patient of this clinic in order to be put on their donor embryo list.
So I made an appointment. And after sitting in the waiting room for almost 2 hours and threatening to walk out I finally sat down with Dr. Period.
You see, I was mad…okay I was f&%king pissed and in total bitch mode by now and I walked in a told him that he has wasted enough of my time and I will not waste anymore of his BUT (and once again it should be BUTT) he sucked me in. He started talking quickly about all the things that he thought went wrong with my cycles…things I thought too but had no basis for my opinion until now.
And at the end of every sentence he would say “Period” like he was dictating (which it turns out he was) BUT (with two “T’s”) I didn’t realize it at first and it was really weird.
“I think your last clinic over medicated you Period”
“If I was going to treat you I would do minimal or no meds Period”
“I think I can get you pregnant with an IUI Period”
And Dr. Period said the magic words…”get you pregnant”.
He was talking with an IUI. He was talking my own eggs.
And it was almost like that magic phrase: “There’s no place like home.”
I kept repeating it over and over.
And I felt like Dorothy…all full of hope…knowing that the wizard was going to bring me home…
BUTT could he….