Sunday, June 5, 2011

Lucy!! You have some ‘splaining to do!!

I will try to ‘splain myself without any confusion…but I am pretty sure that could be an impossible feat, since everyone interprets things differently but I want preface this post with the statement: I LOVE GETTING COMMENTS!!

I believe that all comments are a part of the conversation. And I wouldn‘t want anyone to feel that they couldn’t freely join in the conversation and comment on my blog.

Okay, I feel the need to say this again: I LOVE GETTING COMMENTS!!!

But there were a couple of comments on my last post that made me feel like I need to explain a couple of things.

I read those comments and thought to myself…that’s what they got out of my post? That is what they felt I meant? Is this how they are interpreting my blog?

And if that is how some people are “reading” what I wrote, I need to look back at what I wrote to make sure I am expressing myself they way I want to express myself.

Well I won’t back down. No I won’t back down. You can stand me up at the gates of hell but I won’t back down: (Thanks Tom Petty for those amazing words)…

Give up?

Change my mind?

My heart doesn’t know?


My heart is steadfast and strong in its determination and desire to be a mother. And it knows exactly what kind of mother I want to be.

I truly did not for one second want my expression of the fears and thoughts that creep into my mind as being interpreted as me wanting to give up or change my mind.


I will be a mom.

Give me an “I” Give me an “N” Give me an “F”

Infertility – The diminished ability or the inability to conceive and have offspring.

I have been diagnosed with a Diminished Ovarian Reserve (DOR).

And trust me; I would love to take your diagnosis of “having a harder time than in my 20s”.

There have been many, many times that I have said to myself; “This can’t be true. I can’t be Infertile!”

But put my extremely high FSH, my low or out of whack E2 levels and my practically zero AFC count along with 2 years of trying to get pregnant with some very aggressive treatment…AND…what do you got…INFERTILITY!!

DOR can affect women of ALL ages.

In hindsight, due to the fact that I was with Sio for 5 years during my early and mid thirties and did not get pregnant, couple that with my absolute dismal test results at 41 and I would guess that I my numbers dropped in my 30s.

If I knew enough to have my Ovarian Reserve tested then…well…who knows…either way I am trying my best to find a way to be okay…

The good fight…

But I did fight the good fight!

, wheatgrass, royal jelly, Chinese herbs, supplements, IUIs, IVF…and I will keep fighting (cause I won’t back down) but unfortunately with me I am fighting more than age.

Shout it! Shout it! Shout it out loud!!

This to me is one of my most important messages that I WANT to get out into the world. If I reach one woman with my blog who decides to act sooner rather than later on her quest towards motherhood than maybe, just maybe I might be able to finally see “the reason”.

"For women over 40, the reproductive die has largely been cast. Genetics plays a heavy-handed role in the ability of a woman over 40 to become pregnant. If her eggs, which have been in her body since before her birth, remain viable in sufficient numbers, she should be able to become pregnant. If she does not have enough "ovarian reserve," she will not become pregnant without egg donation.

In a clinical report issued in January 2002, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) advised doctors to screen women over 35 for ovarian reserve. Typically, this is done by measuring serum basal levels of follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) and estradiol, two of the so-called pregnancy hormones. Subtle changes in levels of these hormones are associated with a reduced ability to conceive—and, not surprisingly, also are associated with perimenopause, when a woman's hormone levels shift away from reproduction. 

In the past few years, it has become increasingly clear that reproductive biology harshly separates older women into two groups: women who can get pregnant without a lot of medical intervention, but whose ability to sustain a pregnancy is more compromised than their fertility; and women whose fertility has dipped below a critical line and who require interventions, such as assisted reproductive technology (ART). For the first group, there is good news: Huge strides have been made in troubleshooting miscarriages, maintaining pregnancies, handling labor complications, and caring for preterm infants—all important issues in late-timing pregnancy.

For the second group, the news is much more grim. According to figures from the Mayo Clinic, a woman's fertility is highest around age 20. Typically, fertility drops 20 percent after age 30, 50 percent after age 35, and 95 percent after age 40. After age 40, reproductive function diminishes drastically: Half of a woman's eggs are chromosomally abnormal at age 40; by 42, that figure is 90 percent. And should an older woman get pregnant, her chance of miscarriage increases to more than 50 percent by her late 40s. Even the most advanced fertility treatments can't reverse such reproductive decline. As recently as a decade ago, fertility specialists were much more optimistic about first pregnancies at midlife, given improved overall fitness and advances in reproductive medicine. Now these specialists—and a generation of women—have found instead that certain aspects of fertility are much more intractable than they thought."



“ like a LOT of women, who, because of circumstances beyond your control (e.g. not meeting the right man), is trying to have a baby after 40, which concededly, gets harder than if you were 20 (although it can absolutely still happen)”

Until you know your numbers…YOU DO NOT KNOW YOUR FERTILITY…

And unfortunately the majority of women over 40 will find out about their Infertility.

Until you know your Ovarian Reserve…don’t wait. Be prepared.

I wish someone told me this in my 30s.

Instead of blowing smoke up my ass saying things like: “Oh, you’ve got time!” and “Women have babies in their 40s all the time now”

Yeah…not unassisted they don’t!

And yes, there are a few that beat the odds (you know...your friend's cousin had her 1st baby at...) and get pregnant.

Anything is possible!!

But is it probable!! The numbers above are dismal for women over 40 (by 42 90% of the eggs you have left are abnormal!! DISMAL!!) and unfortunately Math does not lie. Yes, once again anything is possible but what is the probability?

I would rather shout from the roof tops to educate and inform women then blow smoke up their ass!

So ladies DON’T WAIT!!

You could fall into the minority and hit the jackpot. Yes, you can get pregnant after 40 if your Ovarian Reserve is good.

But the majority…

The majority will not.

Get your Ovarian Reserve tested and make informed decisions.

And I will now jump off my soapbox and pray that someone has heard me!



  1. Well, since you love parents were a bit shocked when I told them several years ago that I wanted to become a SMC. Although adoption is my plan A, I have always had DI in the back of my mind if adoption doesn't work out. My family doesn't have a history of fertility trouble, and I have always been very regular. Then last month I had the weirdest period of my life, and I started thinking what if I'm going into premature menopause? I just turned 32 yesterday, and my fertility is on my mind for the first time ever. The truth is, I have several friends that have struggled with fertility issues in their 20's, so I agree, waiting may not be the right answer.

  2. Amen, sister!

    I think this is a REALLY important point you make! in fact, i think you should consider sharing it on the SMC Blog.

    i do not think this point has been made with enough emphasis before. consider your post to be a public service announcement.

  3. I would love to share this on the SMC Blog. How do I do that?? LOL :)

  4. I thought I would share my take/experience with infertility. I am only 31, but have major issues with fertility - 2 years and 2 cancelled IUIs and 8 embryo transfer for naught. I am so sick of people saying "oh, you're young; you have time." Age is definitely not enough to determine fertility. I am glad I didn't wait any longer to start ttc.

  5. I hear you.
    I am on the younger side of the SMC spectrum (and I'm still in the Thinking stage) but I've been debating getting the fertility tests for a while now. I have some worries about my own fertility that I have talked about in a recent blog post, but at the same time there's a part of me that says I'm still young, I'd look silly asking for these tests.

    Anyway, I want to say thank you, I know you weren't writing drectly to me but it feels like your post is the confirmation I've been looking for that I should go ahead with tests at least to get a baseline for where I'm at.

  6. I used to tell people when they first got married that there was more to life, to go and travel, to experience life together, but now, after doing that myself and finding I have LOR (low ovarian reserve) at 36 I am the first to say "dont wait"!!!!! I must admit, I do get some shocked expressions... especially when they are only planning the wedding and

    Congratulations Michaela GREAT POST....

  7. Michaela, this is a great post. I totally agree with everything you've said. Calling it something "nicer" doesn't make us any less infertile. I wrote a post over 2 years ago about the same thing. As you said, "Math does not lie." I also hope it pushed at least one woman to be more proactive.

  8. When I was 38 I told my OB that I wanted to have a baby. He said that shouldn't be a problem. He told me not to worry. Guess what even he said "You still have time"!

    I honestly think if I had been told I would have tried then.

    So I am telling! Yes, I am yelling it to the world!!

  9. Thank you for sharing this post, girl! The message needs to be shouted out for women to hear!

  10. I'm late in commenting, but this post is SO TRUE! If someone had told me at 28, 30, 34 how the odds would be stacked against my achieving pregnancy after 35--never mind that I wasn't yet married or that both my grandmothers conceived naturally after 35--I would have acted on that information.

    Unfortunately, women think they have until at least 40, until they find, to their dismay, that it's not true.

  11. Thank you for posting this. Please know that this post did help someone, Me. I am making my appointment today.



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